Daniel's Prayer.

 For the past couple of years, I have been writing out Scripture. It helps me focus on the Word better, and I see things I wouldn’t normally see if I just read it.

I’m currently in Daniel. As I wrote out chapter 9, I was drawn into the prayer of Daniel beginning in verse 3. Jerusalem was in desolation, destruction all around. In the midst of this, he offered up a prayer of confession and repentance, associating himself with the sins of his nation over 32 times!

We can agree our country is in a desperate need of a move of God. We say we want it. We pray for it. But when I read Daniel’s prayer, I was broken.

Verse 5 says, “We have sinned, committed iniquity, acted wickedly, and rebelled, even turning aside from Thy commandments and ordinances.”

I remembered a blog post I wrote several years ago, “Ten Little Rules.” (included below)

If we, like Daniel, want revival in our land– if we want God to move to restore righteousness and justice– we need to pray like Daniel did, identifying with the sins and transgressions of the nation. And I challenge you with this–as I challenge myself– with just one area. One step. Are you keeping the Ten Commandments? All of them? Or have we gotten to the point of complacency where it’s “okay” if we fudge a little here and there.

Think about it. Let God speak to you about it. 

If we truly want God to move in our land, we need to be serious about doing things His way. There are many “if”/ “then’s” in the Bible. God’s hand is often connected to our obedience. Are we truly willing to do that? 

Ten Little Rules

Ever had a time when God dropped something into your mind and you thought, “Oh. Okay. That was interesting. I wonder what that’s about?” I have.

One day while walking my dog, I heard God say these words: “Six days shalt thou labor.” I don’t often hear such clear, distinct directives from God, but there it was. I didn’t have to think very hard to know what He was referring to. Over the years I have allowed work, shopping, and other things to encroach on God’s Sabbath day—the one set aside as a holy day—a day of rest. And not unlike the proverbial frog dropped in a pan of cool water which was gradually heated until he was cooked, my observance of the Lord’s Day had slowly given way to shopping and “little” chores around the house, to full-fledged home projects which consumed the entire day. It had become easy to make the seventh day of the week just another day. So when I heard those words in my ear, I knew He was speaking to me.

Every day for a week I heard the same words, “Six days shalt thou labor,” and every day I began to tell God I understood and would honor the coming Sunday as a day of rest. But as each Sunday came, there were errands to run and tasks to do—especially since we had just moved into a new home that needed work. My husband worked 50+ hours a week, and we still had the other unsold home to maintain with lawn work, so his at-home work hours were very limited. How could we possibly get everything done on one weekend day? Three Sundays went by and work was done, all the while my head kept hearing those same words reverberate: “Six days shalt thou labor.”

I told God I understood, but did He? Did He know all we needed to get done with the new and the old house? Did He realize how quickly those hours of the day go by? Of course He knew all those things. Of course He knew how tired my husband was after a long, stressful week and how dividing chores over two days was better than one. But He also knew how tired and stressed my husband was, and how desperately he needed to rest body, mind, and soul. He knew how truly insignificant those “things” are that we strive to get done at the cost of our health--physical, mental, and spiritual.

Again the words came but expanded. “Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work. Honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy.”  Okay. Okay! This Sunday I won’t work, but that means I have to tell Rob not to work either. I wondered how that would be received since God didn’t tell him that.

Sunday morning came. As we walked our dog after morning coffee, Rob began to list the things he wanted to get accomplished. “Honey,” I began, “God has spoken to me for over a month saying, ‘Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work.’” Then I proceeded to tell him how we could do some minor jobs around the house if he wanted to. His response: “No way! Not after what you just said.” He almost seemed a little happy! Maybe he does need the rest—maybe he wanted the rest but felt he couldn’t ask for it.

I am not a perfect. I strive to please God, to seek forgiveness for the sins I commit and the ways I fail Him every single day. When God recently brought “six days” into my life, I realized something. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of being a Christ-follower, but then I realized I wasn’t even obeying the Ten Commandments! Ten little rules. 

Our focus tends to be on the “big ones”:  murder, committing adultery, bearing false witness. You know... the “obvious” ones; the ones easiest to avoid. But when God hit me between the eyes with commandment number four, I realized I was not as obedient as I thought. Greater conviction came when I realized I had disobeyed for years without it even really bothering me.

I wasn’t resting or honoring or keeping the Sabbath day holy as He had commanded. I could look around me and see thousands of other people doing work on Sunday and try to justify my actions, but He was speaking to my heart.

Someone recently posted a meme on Facebook which stated we have thousands of laws on the books all because we can’t obey Ten Rules on stone. A quick search led to this:

“No one knows how many laws there are in the United States.  Apparently, no one can count that high.”

“They’ve been accumulating, of course, for more than 200 years.  When federal laws were first codified in 1927, they fit into a single volume.  By the 1980s, there were 50 volumes of more than 23,000 pages.”

"New laws mean new crimes. From the start of 2000 to 2007, Congress had created at least 452 new crimes, so that at the time the total number of federal crimes exceeded 4,450." 

(Kowal Communications, Inc. Blog)

“New laws mean new crimes.” Of course. The more you make anything against the law, the more likely it is that someone will violate that law. It’s sad that we have come to this. All we had to do was follow ten little rules, but because we don’t, we now have thousands and thousands of laws in place telling us what we can and can’t do. Isn’t the root need for all these laws because we broke or ignored the original ten?

In addition, God said we needed a day to rest. He knew how crazy our world and lives would be. He knew the stress and busyness. He knew the toll it would take on health, sanity, and relationships. He knew we needed a day to simply rest. God Himself rested after He made all of creation in six days. I think it’s probably important for us, too.

But it goes beyond needing rest. In honoring the Sabbath and keeping it holy, we acknowledge who God is. It’s submission to His Lordship. He is our King and we need to honor and worship Him on the day that He Himself has established. 

Will I submit my will to Him, even when I see a huge “to do” list in front of me and have few hours to complete it? Will I recognize that worshiping and spending time with Him is more important than any earthly thing I may need to accomplish? Will I open my eyes to see that when I place Him first, He will enable me to finish the things on my list? If I spend my time resting and honoring and worshiping, my work hours will become more fruitful as He enables, and perhaps are re-prioritized to what He sees as most important. 

Since God spoke to my heart about honoring the Sabbath, my husband and I have made the effort to not work or go shopping on Sunday and it has helped us focus more on God and His word, as well as simply relax and rest. Do we still struggle? Yes, because old habits are hard to break. But God has brought to our attention our disobedience of one of God's 'ten little rules" and now we strive to align ourselves more to His will and commands.

God is always working to conform us more and more to His image. He prods and corrects us when we need it because He is a loving Father who seeks to keep us from harm and to align us with His plans and purpose. The Ten Commandments aren't restrictive, they are God's boundaries of safety and well-being. It's never too late to begin anew. I encourage you to examine your own heart to see what God may be speaking to you. 

(Originally published 6/24/2020)

I’m Sorry

As one gets older, we tend to look back and see things we wish we had done differently. Reflection can be good if it helps us live better lives here and now, but we can’t get stuck regretting past decisions or actions.

I recently thought about my parents, now deceased, who lived 300 miles away from me during my college years and after I was married and had children. It was a five to six hour one-way drive, so it wasn’t a trip we could make often. Rob and I both worked, and with babies, and later a child in school, it didn’t afford much time off.

It didn’t bother me very much that we didn’t get to visit them more than a few times a year. I was busy with my life. They came our way, too, so that helped fill in the gap, but I could tell they wished we saw them more. The invitations made over the phone, the wishful “hope to see you again soon,” as we left their house to head home; desires verbalized.  An aging parent wanting more time with the children she raised, loved, and wanted to spend time with. Time. A commodity we often take for granted.

I guess the reason I started ruminating over these visits, or the lack of them, lies in two reasons. 

First, I am now a grandma myself. I have two beautiful granddaughters I love to pieces. Their parents are pretty special, too, and there can never be enough time spent together with them. I understand much more what my mom had wished for. Secondly, Christmas is coming. I know that sounds like a huge disconnect, but Christmas is a time for family and gatherings. As I was thinking about my parents, I recalled how few times we were actually at their home, or even together, for Christmas day. Of course we celebrated on another, reasonably close day, but it wasn’t the same.

I realize how selfish I was all those years. We could have occasionally skipped the annual family gathering that was local to where we lived and drove to my parents more often– maybe every other year as work allowed. (I was a nurse so working holidays was a frequent occurrence.) I know it must have felt lonely and sad for my mom. She must have ached to have us visit more often. I feel sad for her now, and sad that I didn’t give more to her when I had the opportunity.

Life is busy and we have to share our time with all those around us; our nuclear families, extended families, and friends who all want the joy of being together with us. We all have to “give and take” because we can’t be everywhere at once. It was a fact back in my parent’s day, and it’s a fact now. 

We all long for the perfect set up. We have dreams and visions of how we would like Christmas or other holidays to be experienced, but they are dreams that dwell in a perfect, imaginary world. A world where time stands still and there are no constraints on anyone.

I looked back and saw what was. It made me sad for my mom and dad, but especially my mom because I think women have stronger emotional ties to the holidays and gatherings than men do. I just want to say, “I’m sorry, Mom. I love you so much and wish I could go back and do it better than I did. I’m sorry I made you sad. I’m sorry if you felt less important to me than you were. I’m sorry we didn’t share more special days together. I’m sorry.”

Knowing the great and loving God we serve, I have a feeling all those missed “special” days will be more than made up for when I am reunited with my mom and dad in heaven. There will be no end to the time we can spend together. No work constraints, no miles between us… forever together.

Until then, I will do my best to be there for the ones I love in the here and now whenever we can make it happen. Yes, there are still work schedules, and miles, and school, and many other things that keep us from being together as often as we’d like.

We can look back and learn from our regrets, but then we move forward, no longer stuck in the past. We then take each moment we get and make it the best we can.

Until heaven… Until we are all together forever...love.

Fear

Have you noticed that when you feel your faith is the most secure and strongest, something comes to challenge it? 

I recently spent two glorious days with Jesus in my house. Praise and worship music played continuously, and I immersed myself in His word. I felt so strong. I was a conqueror! I was on the mountain top! 

Then bam. The next day, our finances took an unexpected hit. I began to worry about how to meet these new bills. Uncertainty rapidly clouded my once sunny outlook, and a little bit of fear crept in. I tumbled down my mountaintop pretty quickly.

"What will we do?"  Suddenly, the confidence I had relished just 24 hours earlier was nowhere to be found. Wow. "Some strong Christian I am," I chastised myself. 

But the Christian walk isn't about everything being great or having no needs. It isn't about a pain-free life. It's about learning how to become more Christ-like in those moments. It's about leaning into Him more, trusting Him more. It's about depending on ourselves less and depending on Him more. 

It's during those times we grow. Priorities get straightened out; perspectives re-aligned. 

Today our world is filled with fear, both rational and irrational, realistic versus exaggerated. It infiltrates every area of our lives as the media announces new doomsday messages by the hour, and many conversations we have seem to center on events currently happening to us, or what may happen to us. Fear can easily become the focus of our lives, and when it does, it reaps its desired effect. As fear grows, it pulls our hearts and minds away from God.

Fear is a powerful tool when wielded with precision and accuracy by the enemy. It leads to doubt and lack of faith and causes us to do things we wouldn’t normally do. It reveals weak areas in our lives. 

Fear can be our spiritual Achilles' heel. 

The things our eyes and ears focus on become the center of our lives, whether uplifting, or to our detriment.

So how do we deal with fear, even when there are real, legitimate threats to our safety and sense of security? How do we push it aside and not let it infiltrate our very souls? How can we win this battle in our minds? 

Just as in any war or conflict, preparing ahead of time is key. We need to know who we are fighting against, and then how to fight.

We read in Ephesians 6, our battle is not against flesh and blood, but the rulers, authorities, the powers and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. So, we know who we are struggling against; demonic forces sent to destroy us. The devil likes to direct our attention to the things he knows will bring doubt and fear. He likes to see us become dependent on our own strength versus God's. He knows we are weak and vulnerable to further disintegration when we turn our eyes from the Lord to ourselves. 

How do we fight in this battle? We need to be aware of the enemies tactics, and we need to be prepared to face the battles that come our way. Thankfully God has told us how to fight and win the war, and how to stand in the face of fear.

1. We need to put our spiritual armor on every day. God has provided a spiritual protection for us, but we must appropriate it. If we never put it on, we are vulnerable to attack and wounding.

2. We also need to read, study, and meditate on the word of God. When Jesus was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, He countered every single one of the devil's temptations with nothing but the powerful word of God. To do the same we have to know the Word. 

3. Don't go into battle alone. When a soldier goes to war, he doesn't go alone. Many others are with him, but they are all fighting for the same cause. We need to find out comrades in the spiritual battles we face. We need each other for support and to pray for each other. We need to fight for-- and with-- each other for heavens purposes. 

Is fear always a bad thing? Is it something we can escape from or ignore? No. Fear causes us to realize something isn't right. Maybe it's an earthly issue where safety is a concern. It leads us to find shelter or change the situation we are in.  It can also be the realization that maybe our trust in God isn't where it needs to be, or perhaps He's taking us to a deeper level of trust. Either way, it leads us to examine where we are and what is going on in our lives. 

When fear enters our hearts and minds, remember: God is greater. He is infinitely more powerful than any force of fear brought to us. He loves us, fights with us and for us, and will be with us through anything we face in this life. 

Psalm 91: 3 ... He delivers you from the snare of the trapper...

Psalm 34:4 ...I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.

Genesis 50:21 So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

Genesis 15:1 After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.

Isaiah 41: 10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41: 13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

I John 4: 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

"Voices in the Darkness: The Problem with Depression and Suicide"

There is a war that rages between life and death in the unspoken and most concealed battlefield– the human mind. It is insidious and affects way too many lives. The war is called depression.

Suicide and depression have become too prevalent in our society. While a social stigma is still attached to mental illness, there is an awakening for the need to hear and understand those suffering from it.

We need to get inside and strive to understand what happens– or what is happening– to a person experiencing depression.

I hope you find it a privilege if someone considers you a “safe” enough person to share their battle with you. You may be the one person who saves their life.

**************************************************

“Committing suicide is the most selfish act there is.”

“The person with depression is just feeling sorry for himself.”

“Suicide doesn’t take your pain away; it just gives it to someone else.”

“Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get over it.”

We have all heard these or similar statements regarding depression and suicide. Many believe them to be true, and I used to be one of them, until I suffered severe, clinical depression myself. That’s when my “education” into mental health and illness truly began.

Granted, mental illness is hard to understand, both for the one suffering with it, and their family and friends. Our bodies aren’t broken or bandaged or hooked up to sophisticated medical equipment; there are no printouts of abnormal test results, and no images of some invading tumor. All “looks” normal to the medical teams and our surrounding family. Yet something is seriously wrong.

So, what are the common responses a depressed person receives?

“It’s all in your head…”

“Just think about happy things…”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself…”

“Go DO something…”

“Just get over it!”

The result: a person’s sincere, profound agony is dismissed and denied. The person is made to feel guilty for not being able to “get over it,” and feels blamed for causing others to feel bad. There is a sense of rejection and failure. Because I cannot make it better– because I am ill– I am made to feel guilty because you can’t handle my pain.

In one breath we tell the depressed, suicidal person that they are being utterly selfish in their thoughts and possible intents, but in reality, saying “suicide doesn’t take your pain away, it gives it to someone else,” reflects the selfishness on the part of the one saying it. They don’t want to feel the pain of the loss of a loved one should their suicide be successful; or maybe they are embarrassed by the depressed person, or they simply don’t know what to do to help so they want it all to go away. But the above quote about “pain shifting” promotes feelings of guilt along with a sense of responsibility for another’s displeasure or discomfort. The one already suffering now has an additional burden– an added “failure” – to a mind that is already hanging by a thread.

In an attempt to try and divert someone’s suicide, it may in fact push them closer to it.

My personal experience with depression came quickly and very much unexpectedly. My husband, son and I were living in Europe as missionaries at the time, and the effects of culture shock threw me to the ground in a severe mental crash. In my specific case, unresolved, suppressed grief over the deaths of two of my children suddenly began to surface. What had once been hidden– even from me– became known and demanded to be addressed. I couldn’t think straight, became unwilling to go out or interact with others, lost drastic amounts of weight due to anorexia, and simply lost all hope.

The spiritual and mental battle I went through was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. Torturous thoughts of rejection, grief, guilt, and unfounded shame all played in my mind and dreams daily. The pain of it all became so intense I didn’t care if I died, and I began to entertain how I would kill myself. I visualized slashing my wrists, stabbing myself in the chest, and driving my car off cliffs. I wanted to be free from the torment, but there seemed to be no way out. My only salvation was my love for my husband and son. I couldn’t do it to them. Selfish would have said, “Who cares about you?”, and proceeded to kill myself, but my thoughts were on them.

Sadly, many people do not come from loving, strongly committed families. There may be abandonment, rejection, abuse, or anger issues, so saving oneself to spare family members pain may not even play a role in their minds. That safety net is not there.

We all have a role in helping someone who is struggling with depression or suicidal ideologies. You may be the reason a person decides to not take their own life. You may be the lifeline that saves them.

The following is a chart I made based on things I see. Some may be inaccurate, but overall, it seems quite true to me.

Comparison: Physical Illness, Mental Illness

Patient 1: Terminally ill cancer patient.

-severe physical pain

-many treatment options offered to provide comfort and hope of cure

-no shameful stigma

-insurance covers many treatments

-provided for, cared for, embraced by others

-cannot heal themselves

-did not ask to become ill

Patient 2: Severely depressed patient

-severe mental pain

-treatment offered is often pills, or perhaps counseling, if it can be obtained. Many insurances don’t cover it, plus there is the stigma of “needing” counseling which causes many to refuse it.

-health insurance and life insurance costs go up 50% over the next 7 years. (at least ours did. I do not have current figures on this)

-shameful stigma

-ostracized, or made to feel guilty by others for being depressed

-cannot heal themselves

-did not ask to become ill

Both of the above persons are ill, both in need of treatment and help. Yet there is a remarkable difference in how they are responded to. This should not be.

We all have a role in helping someone who is struggling with depression or suicidal ideologies. You may be the reason a person decides to not take their own life. You may be the lifeline that saves them.

Don't Lose Your Vision

 I love to hear the Holy Spirit’s gentle voice. He encourages me, guides me, and at times corrects me. Not long ago I asked God to help me with my addiction to my phone. I was either playing a game, or flipping between Facebook, email, or Instagram. The amount of time spent in the virtual world was excessive, while the real world I live in was neglected. I needed His help.

There were multiple gentle nudges from Him reminding me of the other things I needed to do, but the pull of the phone was stronger. Then one day He gave me a response to my request for help that gave me pause; it wasn’t the reply I expected.

“If you keep doing this (using the phone), you will lose your sight.”

I wasn’t sure exactly what He meant. Did He mean I would literally go blind? We’ve all heard the potential dangers of blue light from our devices, so after a few reminders from God about losing my sight, I really began to listen. I didn’t want to go blind. 

I began to put my phone down more and took frequent breaks. I noticed my eyesight was blurry after excessive use, so I knew the breaks were a good thing to do. But then it occurred to me. Could He have meant something other than my actual physical eyesight? Was He talking about a different type of vision? 

God gives each of us a vision for our lives. Things He wants to do in us and through us. Was it possible this was the vision God was referring to? Instead of losing my actual physical eyesight, perhaps my phone usage was interfering with the God-given vision for my life. The distracting, time-eating device was being used by the devil to steal my time and my talents.

Distraction. It’s one of Satan’s greatest tools. It keeps us from doing the things God has for us to do. It keeps us non-productive for His kingdom work and steals the time we could have used in more useful activities. It blocks our eyes from seeing the kingdom work around us.

For me, the distraction was my phone. I admit to still battling with it, but I am aware of how the devil is using it to interfere in my life. I don’t want my God-given vision lost because of a sneaky tool of the devil. I don’t want to lose sight of what God wants me to be and to do.

How about you? Is there a distraction in your life that’s keeping you from the vision God gave you? Make a commitment today to turn off the distraction and seek God to restore His sight and vision for your life.

I Feel "Unspiritual"

Do you ever have times when you feel "unspiritual?" I'm in one of those bogs right now. Busyness has eaten into my usual reading and writing times, but more than that, we are currently in a battle over an issue a business needs to make right and is hedging on. It's more than frustrating when they won't back their own product or try to shift the blame. It's been wearing, and wearying. 

As a result, I feel unspiritual. I don't feel good will toward my fellow man, and I don't feel like being a witness to the goodness of God. I feel like my flesh is winning right now and I want to hide in a hole away from humanity, or at least force others to be responsible and have integrity.

But this is one of those times I need to do some self-talking. 

Self, what is truth? What is the devil trying to do to you? Whose voice are you listening to? Why are you giving your emotions the power to control you? 

Self, you know what is right and good. You know what to do to break through this period of earthly frustration. You know where you need to spend more time. With God. In His word. Talking to Him. Listening to Him. 

Self, you know sometimes life is hard and throws you curveballs. Just remember Who oversees everything; knows all things. Remember Who your defender and shield is. 

This earthly battle won't be over immediately, but I know Who is walking with me though it. I need to get back to His plan-- His word-- and remember who fights for me. I cannot control anyone else. Their responses, their integrity, and their actions are their own choice and they will be accountable for them. 

Giving up my spiritual walk is never the answer. Seeking Him is always the answer.  Then, even if the outcome isn't what I hoped for, I know He is still with me and directing my path. He is making me more into His likeness through the trials I encounter. 

I have to go read my Bible now. 

Wasted Time

When I walked my dog the other morning, I contemplated time. Wasted time specifically. I have found it easy to spend hours on the computer reading Facebook, playing games, or checking my email as frequently as if I were expecting a letter telling me I won the lottery. Hours. Hours and hours spent doing nothing of significant value. Wasted time.

Then I considered God and His gift of my life. A life which has a purpose. A life HE has a plan for. A life with a limited number of days on this planet. How many days of that predetermined lifespan have I wasted? There is a purpose and a work for me to do on earth. What if, by my own laziness or distraction, I fail to complete said work.. Will God extend my days so I have more time to complete it? I don’t think so. I will have to stand before Him and in sorrow realize how much of His gift I wasted. 

Satan’s goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. He distracts us with even good things to keep us from the GOD things. He has stolen many days of my life through distraction. My eyes have been turned from God’s purposes and plans; my focus shifted to other things deemed more interesting or entertaining at the moment.

In these confusing, uncertain days, my focus needs to shift back to the things of God. That means certain things will have to take a back seat, or maybe even be eliminated altogether. Discipline is hard, but I need to make a concerted effort to put God first in ALL areas of my life. If indeed these are the last days, there is a Word to be proclaimed. God’s Word needs to be sent out, and if I can be a tool to further His kingdom, then I must make it a priority. It should have been all along.

So today, a new start graciously allowed by a loving Heavenly Father. A new focus. I may not get extra days of life to complete His assigned work for me, but I will make the best of the ones I have left. No more wasted time.