“I Know Too Much”

I’m a nurse. “I know too much.” Those words mean I have seen too many things gone wrong. “Those symptoms sound terrible; maybe even cancer.”  “Something on the CT scan doesn’t look right. I’m worried that it’s bad.”  

I recall times I commiserated with other medical practitioners about the fears I had either for myself or someone else. After hearing the symptoms, we looked at each other with a glance that said, “I know too much. It isn’t good.” We had “inside information” that others didn’t have. We had seen too many people suffer or die from things we had studied about or witnessed first hand. We saw “little things” turn into horrible things. The possibility that something “little” would in fact remain “something little,” seemed remote because in our minds we “knew too much.” It left us vulnerable to seeing only the negative side of things. 

I was jealous of those who lived in blissful ignorance because I no longer had that in my life. It was hard to face life at times after all the things I had seen. My “insider information" stole my ignorance, and with it, my innocence. “I knew too much.”

I paused the other day and thought, what if when troubles come, I confront them with a different variation of “knowing too much?” What if, as a believer in Jesus Christ, I could have “insider information” that actually led to a positive view?  

What if I studied more of the Bible’s truthful and foundational messages?
What if I spent time in prayer and fellowship with God so that my faith in Him grew? What if my personal time spent with the Lord led to such a close relationship that I trusted Him no matter what comes my way? Then, armed with that knowledge, that faith and that trust relationship, I could say:

“I know too much” of His goodness and character to doubt Him.
“I know too much” of His healing touch to fear this diagnosis. 

“I know too much” of His lovingkindness to worry about the future and what it may hold.

“I know too much” of His faithfulness to think He would ever leave me or forsake me. 

“I know too much” of the plan He has for me to prosper and not bring harm.
“I know too much” of His provision to fear times of need.

What if we spent the same amount of time pouring over and memorizing God’s word as we spend preparing for tests or exams or in researching the internet for answers to things that concern us? 

What if we so engrossed ourselves in being filled with HIS ways, HIS words, and HIS plans, that when a questionable or threatening situation came our way, we responded to it with, “I know too much!” not in a negative way, but in a way that proclaimed we KNOW our God is with us, and for us, and will never leave us or forsake us. What if we said, “I know too much of the goodness of God to let this situation defeat me, or depress me, or discourage me?”  

While it is impossible to get “too much” of God, I am challenging myself to dig deeper into the word of God, and to spend more time with Him. I want to “know too much,” or better said, “I want to know SO much” of Him, His words, His faithfulness, and His character, that I never fear anything the enemy throws at me.

How about it? Do you know God and His word well enough to say, “I know too much,” to the trials and uncertainties that seek to disquiet you?  Do you know Him so well that you can rest in any situation, trusting He is with you?

The next time something formidable comes our way, or a diagnosis is given, or something fearful comes along, let’s shout back at it– “I KNOW TOO MUCH” about my God – and see Him work His peace in our hearts and minds.